By my clock, its been exactly 30 days since I wrote. I have meant to sit down and write so many times and have realized for once, I don’t have some drama or struggle to document. I am having the best summer I have had in years, completely different to previous years and yet the most liberating. I haven’t felt so much myself in a very long time.
This time last year, I was suffering big time with my mental health, I was in a bad relationship, was going through some family stuff and was attempting to study for my repeats, all while on a family holiday in West Cork. This year, I am writing this from my bed, snapchatting videos of myself singing and dancing to one of my best friends (Yes, I’m talking about you Mairtin), despite the fact I need to get up in 7 and a half hours for work..
Getting away from my life is exactly what I needed to do to see what I want to do with it.. I still have absolutely no idea what I want to be when I grow up, or where I’ll be living in a months time, but this time, it doesn’t scare the beejsus out of me, I am terrified, but its an excited terrified.
This evening I came in from work and sat down on the couch with the dog curled up on top of me, when my Gran suggested we went out to the beach with the dogs. As soon as we got there, it started to rain. She went for a paddle in the sea while I took the two dogs up the beach. When I was walking, I realized I was walking away from the rain and towards the sun on the beach. It reminded me of the song Chasing the Sun by The Wanted. It was myself and my friend Ciara’s anthem of the summer yearsss ago and I threw it on on Spotify. This resulted in my singing and dancing my way back down the beach, looking like a crazy person and being totally in my element!!
This lighthearted person who isn’t afraid to look like an eejit is who I am and due various reasons, I lost sight of that… But I’M BACK BABYYYY.
Thanks for reading,