Ok, so December has just been a blur, I can’t believe that in two days it is going to be 2018. I started 2017 thinking that I was going to make it my year and spend the first 6 months in a really bad place. Then I spent 3 of the best months I have had in a long time living with my Grandparents and working a job I really liked. Once I finished with that I had some time back at home where I felt lost, I didn’t know what I was going to do and felt hopeless as I wasn’t getting any of the jobs I applied for. Then it all seemed to go my way, I got given a chance and it set me up. I moved out of home and I’ve started to live the life I feel fits right for me.
Since moving out, things haven’t been all fine and dandy. In general I have loved it but a couple of weeks in, I had a bad anxiety week. I had a week where no matter what, I couldn’t cheer myself up. I was sluggish, I had no motivation and I cried at EVERYTHING. On the Sunday evening, my parents dropped me back into my house after being back at home for the weekend, I went up to my bedroom and BURST into tears. I had no reason to be crying and I knew that as I sat there sobbing to myself.. Another instance during the week, the guy I was seeing left to go home and as I closed the door behind him I again, burst into tears and again, it was for no reason.
Guys, don’t tune out, keep reading because I’m fairly sure I’m not the only chick who’s ended up in this situation. I started taking birth control pills in January or February last year when I was in a sort of relationship and this girl is not ready for a baby so I was looking out for myself. I hated it for the first month because I was a hormonal, nasty bitch and that isn’t who I am. I started getting on alright with it so kept taking it. It got to the stage after the summer when I didn’t need to be taking it anymore, in addition to me being absolutely dismal at taking it and forgetting days towards the end. Anyway, when I started seeing the aforementioned guy, I decided to start taking it, I had a months supply left over.
I found it interesting that my bad anxiety week coincided with the week I went back on the pill. In woke up one morning and looked at my pills and it was like a light-bulb going off in my brain, I put my extreme emotions down to the hormone differences I had been putting into my body. Stopping suddenly had its own challenges as my body was a bot confused but all seems to be going well.. 😛 I just thought it was worth mentioning just in case anyone else has experienced something similar and is unsure of why, this is my understanding… I should point out at this point I am not a doctor nor have any medical training 😛
Ok enough of the heavy stuff, it is currently 1.15am and I need to sleep! I’ll be on again in a few days to write again (seriously can’t spell that word tonight!!)
Belated Happy Christmas to all those who celebrate it.
Thanks for reading,
This post was also written while listing to Defying Gravity, originally from the musical Wicked but this version is by the extremely talented Lea Michele in Glee.